The good
Generally the reaction to lolita I've had has been good. Little old ladies telling lovely things about my garments reminissing their youth, general compliments of prettiness and so on. I have gotten into discussions of fifties fashion and etiquette which is quite fun although lolita isn't exactly that. I suppose the ladies remember their old poofy skirts.
One of the more positive experiences was when me and my beau and couple of our friends went to an event in Joensuu and my friends decided to see how children reacted in me by keeping an eye on them. They told me that some of them were a it scared but most of them had sparkling eyes of a person who thought "I will look like that when I grow up!" I hope they do.
The annoying
We've all had these. "Is this a bachelorette party?" "Are you in a a play?" "BLEEBING KAWAII!!" And we sigh and in the less annoying cases answer their questions and go about our lives. Yet everytime this happens we just hope that people would just leave us alone.
Yes I know it's a risk we take when we were these clothes. We attract attention. We are colourfull (well most of us), we are fancy, nice to gawk at. And some people love to whip out the camera too.And yes some of them do ask for a picture, others dont.
In one meet up our group shot was actually photobombed by tourists. It was interesting to say the least. I think that if they had asked for permission we would have gladly posed with them as we had done so just moments earlier. It was just odd.
In one meet up our group shot was actually photobombed by tourists. It was interesting to say the least. I think that if they had asked for permission we would have gladly posed with them as we had done so just moments earlier. It was just odd.
The bad
And then there is the bad. Yes there is sexual harassment and bullying and in some unfortunate cases violence. I have been saved from violence but unfortunately have experienced bullying and sexual harassment.
It's still quite hard to speak publicly about what happened but let it be said that there was a man who chose to try and "relieve" himself upon my person. I of course ran before he was able to but it was quite traumatic and I still after all these years don't like to think about it.
How to deal with attention
If it's not the bad always try to remain polite. And especially so if it is the good. That's my rule. If it's the worst sort of bad contact the proper authorities (I didn't and still regret it).
Lolita blog carnival is a facebook group for lolitabloggers. Every week we pick a topic and write about it and then share our posts with eachother.
Participants
Mademoiselle Parapluie
Holy hell that bad-experience sounds absolutely vile. D: Bop those in the family jewels I say, bop them with a parasol! But only if it's not a parasol you wouldn't mind burning afterwards!
ReplyDeleteI've had nothing worse than a tourist trying to buy sex from me and a teenager who tried to impress his friends by dropping his trousers in front of the lolita group I was in, but thankfully I have a scary disposition and that usually keeps the worst of them at bay. What I do find massively annoying is that those real creepy ones always go after the nicest lolitas I can think of.
I truly wish I'd had a parasol with me but alas I was without one.
DeleteThank you for sharing your own stories too. I hope that others will as well.
Wow amazing post. Do you mind if I post the same subject at my blog?
ReplyDeleteAs for me, I always wear gothic/classical lolita and my friends usually wear sweet/fairy/creepy cute. They attract more attention than me and the kids love them! Unfortunately, sometimes we deal with harassment in public, specially when some douchebag is inside a car passing by and scream something awful at us.
Last time we went to a nice bakery and a woman approached my friend with her little daughter and said "Ask her, sweetie!". The little girl said "Are you an mermaid?". haha! Then, a woman with a little baby asked for a picture with my friend, her sweet outfit really drag attention of kids & mothers. But sometimes people want pictures with all of us, always being nice and polite (I am usually the black dot between them).
I don't mind. It is a nice topic to write about.
DeleteI haven't had anyone scream things to me from a car but I've had my fair share of things hollered my way. Usually by people under the influence.
Aww so cute. I have noticed the same thin as I too wear mostly black in a group of more colourful friends. And I too am the black spot in the middle.
Thank you for your charming comment. The little girl made my day.
I'm really sorry to hear there are people who don't treat Lolis with the respect they deserve. In my innocent little world, Lolitas are a thing of beauty, almost like living fairytales. I admit to staring, but as I stare, I always think "oh, why can't I look so pretty".
ReplyDeletePersonally I think that the hollerers wouldn't treat anyone with proper respect. Thank you.
DeleteI wear Lolita a lot. Mostly with my best friend but also alone. We get a lot of positive comments but there are days when the negative are so much... i can barely handle it. Once I sold a dress because I got so many horrible comments/people yelled at me and stuff like that. Whenever I looked at the dress I remembered that day so I finally had to sell it, because I felt uncomfortable just while looking at it.
ReplyDeleteNormally I am very relaxed when I get bad comments. In such moments I always think: "Poor you. You are so damn boring... I will have forgotten your face in 5 minutes but you will remember me for days, weeks or even more."
With this thought I always feel better.
(My english is horrible, sorry)
Your English is perfectly fine.
ReplyDeleteIt's a shame you had to sell a dress because of negative people. I wear a lot of lolita too, almost everyday (and still so few outfit shots.. Bad blogger!) and most of the time I get stared at. I just ignore the stares and move on.
I must say that the way you use to cope with this sort of attention is truly lovely! I will certainly utilize this next time I get a particularly nasty comment.
Thank you!
What happened to you is so awful I am so sorry you had to have something that bad happen to you.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I am mostly over it as it has been quite some time.
Delete