Friday, 20 March 2015

Lolita blog carnival: Defining lifestyle lolita

I have always thought myself as somewhat of a lifestyle lolita and yet kept my mouth pretty shut about what I think that means. How do you even begin to define a lifestyle?

Stereotypical lolita lifestyle has been seen as something confining an limiting. You have to have tea, be polite, have only loliable hobbies like sewing or painting or so on. Anything and everything you do must be lolita related. And naturally you have to do it alone as Novala says.

"A maiden does not need things like friends. Maidens are sublime and aloof by nature. In stories, the male heros will form cliques and carry out their activities together. Like in Tom Sawyer, Tom, Huckleberry Fin, and Getalobe, joined together and the three of them made the “15 boy’s drifter chronicles”, and then the 15 had to be together; they weren’t adult at all. But young ladies are different. Alice went through the perils of Wonderland by herself, and Anju helped her brother escape from the bandit’s mountain and was abandoned herself." 
(From here)

But here is where I'd like to argue with Novala. Alice may have gone to the wonderland alone but that doesn't mean her friends didn't hear all about it as soon as she climbed out of that rabbit hole. And though Novala probably meant this to be encouraging for girls who for one reason or another have not friends, it has become the cliched version of the lolita lifestyle. And while I can see some merit in his ideas I believe that everyone has the right to define their own lifestyle.

The other big cliche about lifestyle lolitas is that they (or we) wear lolita everyday. And though I have been very privileged and lucky to been able to wear lolita to most of my workplaces I am aware that it might not be possible in the future. I don't believe that this defines a lifestyle lolita.

To be honest I think of lolita lifestyle in the same way many think of goth. It's just the way I decorate my home, the clothes I wear, how I enjoy culture around me. To me it's always seemed a bit silly to say lifestyle lolita. No one is saying that there are lifestyle goths or lifestyle punks. They are just goths or punks. And I feel the same should be true with lolita.  And like in the mentioned examples I feel there are many ways to be a lolita. Or a lifestyle lolita if we stick to the topic.

Lolita lifestyle for me is first and foremost an appreciation for beauty. And as perspectives on beauty are as varied as people are, it can mean anything from antique furnishings to filling ones house with My little ponies. It's an all encompassing principle to surround one self with things one finds beautiful. Audrey Hepburn once said that to be beautiful is to eat, look and read beauty.

I enjoy the idea of refining my talents in lolita and in other things. I feel that lolita to me is a symbol of becoming a better person, learning more and trying new things.

In my case this means seeking knowledge of things that interest me like tea or antiques or honing my skills in sewing or crafting. I might even try something new once in a while ( I still want to learn to play the piano). Lolita motivates me in ways many other things have not.

To put it shortly a lolita lifestyle is a very personal matter. Novala speaks of independence and in this I feel he is right. Lolitas are very independent by nature and thusly are responsible of making their own rules, even about what lolita lifestyle means.  

Tl;dr: Go define your own lifestyle and stop bugging me about it.

Lolita blog carnival facebook group

Other participants

Heart's sound
Poppy noir
Art du noir
Lace jail

Madame Parapluie


  1. Very good post! I agree completely.

  2. Great post and interesting to read about your opinion :-). I'm not lolita myself rather goth, or even rather gothic. I like gothic stuff but I also like to be outdoors, doing sports, having kids etc things very ungothic. I'm sure those unlolitic things you like doesn't make you less lolita.

  3. I loved this! I so agree!