Monday, 1 December 2014

If I were a goddess

Kaino challenged me to tell you what kind of goddess I would be so here comes!


"If I Were A God..." -challenge!

Rules are as follows:

1. Tag back to the person who tagged you.
2. Answer the questions.
3. Add a question if you come up with a good one.
4. Challenge five other bloggers.



Mari got it pretty right when she said I would be the Epic Vampire Goddess of Night, Moon and Starry Skies. I would also add that if you suffer from insomnia that's probably my doing. Why should I an All powerful goddess be the only one who can't sleep? I am also a bit mischievous so all sorts of pranks will be something my followers have expect. 
As a goddess I would ride a huge black unicorn with bat wings to battle every night to overpower the hateful sun and give my followers the calm coolness and soothing darkness of the night. I would also have a flock of bats as pets and messengers to carry out my holy orders. If I were heavenly pissed of I probably would stop the sun coming up (What? It's a star too and thusly a part of my domain.) 

1. The global warming thingy will kill lots of stuff. You get to save one species and have to kill another. Which ones and why?


I would save dogs because puppies are adorable and kill those nasty little bug thingies that bite you and make nasty itchy bumps everywhere. I think the English term is Black flies. I hate those buggers. 

 2. Ok, since you are playing god, make a prayer your worshipers would have to pray every evening.

"Oh queen of darkness 
Silent and swift
Slay the sun 
and raise the night
so those who oppose thee
will fall to dreams. 

Of queen of darkness
merciful and kind
My blood I offer thee
so thine essence will inspire me"

I don't know if it would do much help to you mortals though but no one can blame you for trying.I would. Latin might work better though. I am a bit fancy that way.

3. Nice and poetic that one. Now, any sacraments you would want to have?

The giving of the beautiful virgins to nourish thine goddess.
Making sure thou art wearing clothes of good quality and fit. I will not have shabby looking followers.
Wearing of the night sky. (It makes a very sparkly dress) 
Bringing of the night eternal and the end of the world

4. I like this theme. Three annual ceremonies that would be held to celebrate you?


The hateful day of the undying sun

This celebration would take the place of midsummer as it is the only day your goddess can not overpower the sun. It would be celebrated by staying indoors locking every window and putting on thick heavy curtains to keep out the noise of the foolish who celebrate the sun. 
On this day your goddess expects to be given beautiful parasols to fend of the hateful sun. 

Night of horrors and love

Set on october 31st  this is the most romantic celebration in the schelude as this is the day your goddess deigned to marry one of her most loyal followers (from now on known as the Darling one). Gentle mischief would be expected to take place but your goddess will be too busy celebrating her anniversary to notice much off it.  
On this day it would be good to sacrifice black silk dresses and other black shiny items to your goddess. And make sure their quality is impressive or else I might go back to my old habit of dining from Beautiful virgins. 

The undisturbed night of starry skies

The longest night of the year which I personally would decorate with the  most wonderful array of stars, comets and perfect moonlight to shine with the pure white snow.
This is the only night of the year that I would expect the sacrament of gi
ving of the Beautiful virgins all though it is appreciated on other nights as well. If any virgins aren't available I will accept any nice gothy boots, shiny sparkly black purses and black lace dresses given that the items meet my expectations of quality.

5. Just in case you become a god, what sacrifices we mortals should offer for you for a good weather and such benefits?



I will accept Beautiful virgins, black silk, lace or velvet dresses, bejeweled purses, super nice shoes (black), puppies and kittens and books. Books are good but if you dare give me Twilight I will personally rip out your jugular. 

6. Since there are the five of you playing gods, check each others blogs and tell us what kind of gods you think the others would be like according to their blogs.

Caramea: I have nothing to say against her own ideas. I would just add the powers of taking away good lace if you heavenly piss her of and the ability to walk in any heels no matter how high. 

Rinna: She would be the goddess of antique lace, ethical garments and spending money rationally. Her  powers would be giving that little voice of ration when you are thinking of buying something you do not need, being the little voice that says that buying antique lace is truly reasonable and reminding you of the almost exactly the same dress in your wardrobe.

Asio otus: The lady of impeccable make up and super nice wigs ruling over the domain of poofy petticoats guarded by her guard turtles and the cat Baisy. Her power would be to always succeed in putting on makeup and poofing up the petticoats. She rides a giant turtle. 

Elfie: The high queen of the faerie, and the flower growing ballerina. Where ever she dances during spring flowers will grow and where ever she dancing during autumn you will see fairy rings of mushrooms appear. She is the kind goddess of growth and daintyness. 

7. With which god of the other four would you most likely ally yourself with if needed?

With Caramea of course. Our combined powers would wreck such glorious mischief and sometimes it's nice to look when the world burns. 

8. Since there are five to choose from to worship, why would your supporters choose you?

I'm easy to please and you get to stay up late. Also glittery black things and vampire fiction. I would also be willing to give you ride on my black bat winged unicorn if you asked nicely enough. 

9. Tempting! What rules should the followers of your cult follow?

1. Thou shalt stay up at night so thine goddess has someone to talk to.
2. Thou shalt carry a parasol at all times during the hateful day to shield thine self from the even more hateful sun.
3. Thou shalt not make sexual advances when they are not wanted or We thine goddess shalt become very unpleasant. 
4. Thou shalt wear garments and accessories of good quality and proper fit. We shalt not have shabby followers.
5. Thou shalt drink the absinthe the darling one offers thee for it is an honour. 
6. Thou shalt not bully thine fellow worshipers or We shalt become very unpleasant. 
7. Thou shalt engage in mischief against thine enemies.
8. Thou shalt keep our holy days and sacraments
9. Thou shalt not were a more beautiful silk dress than we or more sparkly black accessories. 
10. Thou shalt stargaze every week to appreciate our work.

10. How would you end the World when the time comes? Your take on the apocalypse?

I would wrap the world into the night eternal and look as everyone freezes to death with some amusement. Then I would swiftly judge the people to find out if they belong in heaven or hell.

11. Ok, the World is ending, what will you offer as the after life?

Oh it would be so beautiful. Everyone would look stylish and classy and wear clothes of impeccable quality and have proper manners. There would be nice things to consume and peace all around. Naturally the hateful sun would be gone and we would always have calming moonlight or serene starlight and it would never be too cold to enjoy it. Everyone would have moonlit picnics and midnight tea parties. 

Unless of course you ended up in hell where the sun will eternally scorch you wearing the coarsest polyester garments and scratchy underwear. The only drink allowed would be dismally over brewed tea and sleep would be nonexistent. My little demons would beat those fallen to hell with parasols and laugh as they do it. The Hell is of course for those people who managed to piss me of. 

And I shall tag the following people: Shena, Amy, Redtonic, ShaDow and Karakuri. Have fun. I won't add any questions. because I can't think of good one right now. 

4 comments:

  1. Great post! I like my new abilities too - especially being able to walk in any high heels. I wish I may, I wish I might... x)

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  2. Oh yes I will be the Extremely Rational Goddess of Splurging on Antique Lace. Those who follow me faithfully will discover that even the most absurd and seemingly impractical lace item (of good quality, naturally) will in fact be multi-purpose and sensible thing to wear always, and no matter how many you have of lace collars and gloves, they will always fit in a box only 10 cm square. But pity on those who become unclean by wearing apparel of subpar lace, for I will send moths and carpet beetles to their wardrobe and stains on shirt fronts which even bleach can't remove!

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    Replies
    1. Truly a great goddess and worthy addition to our canon of goddesses.

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